To be limitless
To be kind to myself
To tame the dragon known as fear….
As January of this year rolled around, plenty of Facebook friends asked one or more variations of this question, “What are your resolutions for the coming year?” I originally gave the answers you see at the top of this post. (I am nothing if not ambitious.) However, after more introspection I recognized that my resolutions are so divergent and I have never really had much success with resolutions. I realized that what I needed was a theme for this year which would encompass my intentions mentioned above. I thought about what my life was missing, the gaps that bothered me the most, and what could be holding me back. I came to the conclusion that what I was missing the most and what I really want and need out of this year, more than anything, is harmony.
Harmony is defined as a “pleasing or congruent arrangement of parts”, “agreement” and/or “unity”. In music, harmony often refers to the relationship between different notes played at the same time to produce a pleasing sound. So what does this mean in terms of what I hope to achieve?
Harmony within. It means ensuring that my thoughts align with the core of who I am and what I aspire to accomplish. This is challenging in that often negative self talk has been established over a period of years to the point where we don’t always recognize it for what it is. Achieving harmony within requires confronting those nasty demons who tell me that I am not good enough (or simply enough), that my body doesn’t look the way it should, and that if I am my authentic self I will be rejected and so it’s better to hide behind an acceptable mask. It means peeling away the layers in order to identify what it is I really want, what is holding me back, and what I am engaging in which no longer serves me.
Harmony without. Harmony without refers to the undertaking of actions which align with what I wish to achieve, who I am, and who I wish to be. Speaking my truth (with love, empathy, and compassion) is a critical part of achieving harmony without. Harmony without can only be accomplished by first working on harmony within. For example, if I wish to be healthier, harmonious external actions would require that I make time to exercise and eat healthier. This is only possible if my mindset and thoughts support these actions.
Harmony in my relationships. Putting my efforts, time, and love into those relationships will feed me and help me to grow. As Dwayne Wayne once said, “True love feeds you like good grub, but baby love drains you like a tub.” Time to release those relationships that drain me because they are unhealthy not only for me but for the other person as well. It is also a time to better appreciate those relationships that do support me, that are a two way street, and/or that contribute to my evolution in becoming a better me. Sometimes we take for granted the friends, family members, and significant others that really do have our best interests at heart and do their best to show us that on a regular basis. We instead turn our attention to those who are inconsistent in their expression of caring and/or with whom we find ourselves constantly pleading, fighting, or striving to gain their approval, their acceptance, or in some cases, even their simple acknowledgement of our existence. I have found that diverting my energy from the relationships that drain me to the positive relationships that I may have taken for granted often produces an even greater depth of love and increases the happiness and joy for both involved.
Harmony in my creative pursuits. Developing my music and writing in a way that expresses who I am at a soul level and which takes threads of different stories, experiences, feelings, dreams, and beliefs and weaves them together in a cohesive, vivid mosaic which has the power to touch and/or inspire others.
Were everything to be in harmony, I would envision it to be the equivalent of a river continually flowing steadily, at a gentle and consistent pace. This does not mean that I will not encounter obstacles or disruptions to my life and my way of thinking. These things are often necessary to facilitate much needed change, learning, growth, and/or transformation. Without life’s challenges we would grow stagnant, and sometimes the most painful experiences offer the greatest gifts. But just as a river finds a way to overcome or go around the things placed in its path, harmony requires that all aspects of my being align to find a way to continue flowing, and to continue moving forward despite the challenges that I may face.
I am not so naïve as to think that this is an easy task nor do I assume that I will achieve and maintain harmony by the end of 2015. This undertaking is not without some sacrifice and will likely require something that I have traditionally feared and been terrible at- letting go. I will need to let go of habits, attitudes, and/or actions which may have become ingrained in my life but which no longer serve me. In some cases, it may require letting go of relationships and people that I care deeply about but which do not respect my boundaries, detract from my attempts at harmony, and/or cause a great deal of pain. Letting go of habits and actions which no longer serve me will require some deep – and potentially terrifying- soul searching and confronting of my demons. Letting go of people and relationships will likely require facing up to some hard and painful truths and allowing myself to grieve so that I can let go with love.
But the result, if I can achieve it, will be a life lived in such a way as to promote internal peace, achieve my highest potential, and enjoy life to the fullest, with a little mischief thrown in for good measure. I am going to carpe the hell out of this diem. 🙂
What about you? What is your theme for the year?