Perhaps it’s the craziness of the end of the school year, work stress, and the lure of the sunshine ringing in summer’s reign, but lately I have felt…stressed, disconnected, worn out. I have felt like I need a break. Better yet, I need a vacation- but not one of those kinds of vacations where it’s awesome but you are busy the entire time so that when you return you need a vacation because of your vacation.
What I need is a peaceful vacation, more along the lines of isolating myself like a hermit in a little secluded cottage on the beach.
Believe me, I love my husband and son. I love my family and adore my friends. But sometimes I just need the world to stop, to freeze around me and suspend any social interaction so that I can sit and think and get my bearings. It’s not realistic for me to just jump on a plane and escape for a vacation when I am feeling this way. It’s not financially wise and given that my responsibilities don’t just stop because I run away, I can’t afford the time to do this either. What I really need is a mini-soul staycation.
Last weekend, I was relaxing in my backyard for a few minutes, enjoying the sunshine and the sounds of wildlife all around me and it hit me that for just a few brief moments, I felt at peace. I felt like I had suspended time for a moment and had reconnected with myself. I was grounded once again.
The problem, of course, is that these moments are fleeting and sometimes we don’t recognize or appreciate them for what they are. I immediately started to wonder how I could “bottle” this moment so that I could recreate moments like them in simple ways whenever I started to feel myself heading into overload. Essentially, I began to wonder what I could use as my “reset” buttons.
In technology, a reset button is described as a way to essentially restart one’s computer without completely turning off the power. Doing so instructs the computer to go through a sort of restarting process wherein memory is cleared and devices are reset to their initial state. I see a human/spiritual reset button working in the same way. A reset button is something that stops the crazy in its tracks for a little while, giving us a chance to breathe, to clear away the stress and other “gunk” that we have accumulated and which makes us feel out of alignment with who we are so that we can rest, recharge, and once again find our center.
Here are 10 items that I have found work wonders as reset buttons for me:
1) Nature. There is something about spending time in nature (particularly when the weather is nice) that is very grounding. So take a walk, explore a forest or a park, relax in a hammock or sit on your back porch and just listen, breathe, and take in the beauty that exists all around you. It’s highly effective.
2) Meditation. If you are rolling your eyes at this one, it’s ok. I understand. There was a time when it seemed like almost everyone was recommending to me that I meditate. To be honest, I wanted to smack them. But then I actually tried it. At first, it was incredibly frustrating. I had this image that I was supposed to light a candle or incense and sit still for 20 minutes and think about nothing and I would magically be transformed into a peaceful loving soul for whom things like stress, sadness, irritation, and/or frustration were merely a distant memory. HA! That is not at all what happened. The first few times I tried to meditate in this manner I thought I would scream. Sitting still when I had so much to do was uncomfortable. My monkey mind -which was constantly active and jumping from one thought to another-made it seemingly impossible to clear any thoughts and instead think of nothing.
Eventually I learned both that meditation was not about perfection and that I could sit still for a time and was pleased to discover that it helped, big time. Even meditating for just a few minutes left me feeling calmer and more at peace. After meditating regularly for a while, I also discovered that, to my surprise, just lighting incense or a candle (part of my regular routine when I meditated) immediately caused my body and mind to settle down and relax as if those actions were some signal to my inner self. Meditation doesn’t have to be about sitting down nor does it have to be a solo activity. Visualization as meditation can be powerful. Try chanting for a kinesthetic effect. You can meditate while you walk just by being present and focused with each step. In fact, anything you do can be a form of meditation. If you have access to a labyrinth I recommend walking that. There is something about it that seems to cause your mind to immediately focus.
There is also group meditation. Some of the most powerful, most uplifting meditations I have done have been around and with other people. If you feel yourself really needing meditation and yet completely unable to settle down or do it on your own, you might even want to see if there is a local Buddhist temple that offers open hours for meditation and/or listening to their monks chant. I don’t know what it is but it is early impossible to be in the setting and not feel serene. It’s like someone set off a peace bomb in the room….
3) Art/coloring books. One of the coolest gifts I got for my birthday a few years back was a set of mandala and other coloring books (the more grown up yet entirely appropriate kind) and a wide array of colored pencils. It sounds silly, but it helped me to relax and caused any anxiety I might have had to quickly fade away. Coloring books for adults more becoming more and more popular, and an increasing number of counselors are suggesting them as a tool for decreasing anxiety and related insomnia. Something about the combination of creative expression and the use of fine motor skills to color intricate designs causes our brain to focus in and let all other irrelevant thoughts subside, thereby centering us. Interested? Look up mandalas or coloring books for grown ups on Amazon or simply google free mandala coloring sheets on Google.
4)Do what you loved as a kid. Try to recall what brought you the most joy as a kid and do that. Be it swinging on the swings, finger painting, riding your bike, or building a fort with blankets (one of my personal favorites), forget your adult inhibitions and fear of looking ridiculous and let your inner child out to play. I guarantee you will feel better as a result.
5) Immerse yourself in the culture and relics of an exotic location. Is there someplace you’ve always wanted to travel to but know you won’t be doing so anytime soon? Immerse yourself in the feel of that place for a few days or even a week. Learn about the culture, eat foods/meals from that area, listen to its music, watch movies related to your destination, dress in the colors and styles of the region, even read travel guides or books from your selected location. If you are yearning for a place that you’ve already been, do the same or try to recreate in some small way something about your visit. Cooking a Moroccan meal, brewing mint tea, and enjoying it out in the sunshine on our deck reminds me vividly of the time I spent in Moroccan courtyards. As silly as it sounds, even walking through an Asian market makes me feel in some small way like I am back in China.
6)Go someplace new you’ve never been. Is there someplace locally that you wouldn’t typically go but which has always intrigued you? Go there. It could be a park, a museum, an interesting community, or even an event. Sometimes completely breaking our routine and putting ourselves in a new environment is all it takes for us to reset.
7)Write. About anything. Don’t worry about spelling or grammar, or sounding witty, no one but you ever has to see this anyway. You’ll be surprised about the thoughts, feelings and ideas that come out if you that perhaps you’ve never paid attention before or never realized were there. Writing can be cathartic, and it can be an effective way to get all of the ick out of your system that is weighing you down.
8) Spend time in water. If you’re adventurous and have the means, snorkel in the ocean, swim in a like, or float (or raft) down a river. Not so adventurous? A long, hot bath with no interruptions can do wonders for your body and soul. There is something about water that is very healing.
9) Walk away. Even if its just for a few minutes, take a walk by yourself to clear your head. While you’re out there, clear your body of its tension by stretching a bit. Often we don’t even realize how tense we are and how much that contributes to our outlook until we start stretching and man does it feel good!
10) Making/listening to music. Play an instrument or sing? Something about making music seems to release stress if even just for a little while and feeds our souls. If you don’t play an instrument or think you have a pleasant voice, it doesn’t matter. Pound on a bucket. Sing at the top of your lungs. Still not convinced? Even just listening to music can reset our mood. Here is a small and definitely not all inclusive list of the songs that never fail to make me happy:
* Happy by Pharrell. (An obvious choice, but effective nonetheless)
*Shake Señora by Harry Belafonte. Just try being upset when this song is on.
*Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles
*Twistin the Night Away by Sam Cooke. Love that velvety voice.
*Walking on Sunshine by Katrina and the Waves
*Baby Got Going by Liz Phair
*Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann
*Ballroom Blitz by Sweet
*Boom Clap. I’m too old to knowing its by but its just so sweet…
*Fee Ra Huri by Omnia
*Junktion by Beats Antique. Mellowy goodness.
*Steal my Sunshine by Len.
*Life is a Highway by Tom Cochrane.
Now that I have taken the time to identify my reset buttons, I know that when I am feeling overwhelmed and/or disconnected from who I am and what matters most I can refer to my reset button list and take a little mini-retreat for myself. By doing so, I put more deposits than I take withdrawals out of my emotional/spiritual bank account and I therefore not only help myself but I help others too.
I would love to add to my list. What are your reset buttons? What songs make you happy?
Now if you’ll excuse, I have a date with a hammock, a coloring book, and an iPod full of joyful tunes…